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Written by Lizard   
Tuesday, 02 December 2008 00:32

R u a looser? Don't be -- Read Grammar For Gamers!

Grammar For Gamers

V 1.0
12/1/2008
 

Hi there.

This is an attempt to consolidate all of the most common, and most annoying, errors in spelling and grammar seen on gaming boards, and in game chat.

"y shud i care this not skool rofl1!"

Here's a little secret -- you aren't taught English so that you can do well on English exams. You're taught English so that when people like me see your resume, we don't laugh uproariously and then call all of our friends in for a dramatic reading of it. (Then not call you for a job interview). Furthermore, poor grammar/spelling sends one very clear message: "I don't care about what I'm writing". If you don't care, why should we? Why should we read your eight page post on how to "fix" all the problems in your current game if you can't even be bothered to spell or punctuate it properly? Also, you give people an easy out -- attacking your presentation instead of your ideas (if anyone can even locate your ideas in the midst of your incoherent scrawl).

"This is too much stuff, I can't keep it all straight!"

Look, dude. If you can memorize the optimal configuration of optional advancement for a dozen classes in five different games, and instantly calculate if a +10 to Con is better than a +15 to Dex for your current build -- you can learn the rules of English. They are no less arbitrary and confusing than the rules to your favorite online game -- and they get patched a whole hell of a lot less often, so you don't need to relearn them every week.

Note: It is almost certain this very piece contains some sins, either venal or mortal. It is nigh impossible to get things perfect on the first try, and online communication tends to the informal. Perfection is a nice goal, but it's not always achievable; it is wrong, though, to conclude that since we can't get it perfect, we shouldn't try to get it as good as we can. 

So, in no particular order, here's some helpful advice.


Rogue vs. rouge:
A ROGUE is a thief, scoundrel, or backstabber. In most games, he is a high DPS class.
ROUGE is a type of reddish brown makeup.

Here is a sentence: The ROGUE disguised his face with ROUGE in order to infiltrate the castle.

Loose vs. lose:
Loose can be used as a verb, meaning to let something go:

"The orc LOOSED a volley of arrows at the attacking paladin".

"The rogue use a skill to break LOOSE from the snare."

Loose is also an adjective, describing something which is not tight:
"The orc put his armor on hastily, so it was LOOSE."

Lose means "Not to win".
"The orc's armor was LOOSE, causing him to LOSE".

Looser vs. Loser:
Looser means "More loose than".
"The Witch Elf's armor was LOOSER than the orc's armor."
Loser means "Someone who has lost"
"If you call someone who has lost a fight a looser, you are a LOSER."

Your vs. You're:
Your is a possessive: Your armor, your character, your game. Use it when talking about something which belongs to someone.

You're is a contraction. It always has an apostrophe between the 'u' and the 'r'. It means "You are". If you use "You're" in a sentence, read it out loud, saying "you are" instead. See if the sentence still make sense. Use it when talking about what someone is, not what they have, i.e "You're a loser if you don't know when to use 'your' vs 'you're'".

"If you're not sure, read your sentence aloud."

You
Let's be perfectly clear -- the word 'you' has three letters, not one. Perhaps when typing fast in in-game chat, you can be excused using the fewest letters possible -- but a message board isn't in-game chat. You're under no time constraints, so there's no excuse for sloppiness. Just write out "You". It raises your perceived IQ 15 points.

Are

This word also has three letters. Not one. Three.

Their, There, and They're:

Oh, here's a big one. From reading online posts, you'd think that these were completely interchangeable in all circumstances -- sort of like grey and gray (both correct spellings) or disc and disk. You might think this... but you'd be wrong!

THERE refers to direction -- "The orc is over there".
THEIR is a possessive, used when referring to a group, either a real group or an abstract group. Use it when discussing things that belong to someone else: "Their coders couldn't fix bugs if you paid them!"
THEY'RE is a lot like YOU'RE -- note our friend, Mr. Apostrophe? It's a contraction. It means, duh, "They are". For example: "THEY'RE over THERE."
Putting it all together:
"THEY'RE over THERE, setting up THEIR siege engines."
 
(By the way, you were probably taught "I before E except after C" (I'm assuming some poor, harassed, teacher made at least a feeble effort to pound a few rules of spelling into your granite-like noggin. I may be wrong). This, like the cake, is a lie! It's "Their", not "Thier". The general rule is that if the ei is sounded as "ay", as it is in neighbor or, well, "their", it's ei, not ie. Also, "weird", which is just weird. Go figure.)

Were, We're, and Where:
"Where" is used for questions of place:"WHERE were you last night?"
"Were" is used to indicate a past time:"We WERE doing a raid last night."
"We're" is a contraction -- use it whenever you would use "We are" or "We where", as in: "WE'RE going to go on a raid now."
Putting it all together:
"WE'RE going to WHERE we WERE raiding last night."


Moral vs. Morale:

This one is pretty unique to Warhammer online, which introduced "Morale" abilities.

Moral  refers to ethics and values:"Killing women and children is not MORAL, unless you are an orc."

Morale refers to mood and enthusiasm, especially in a warlike context: "The act of killing women and children bolstered the orc's MORALE."

 

Our Friend, Mister Apostrophe:
And so we come to the end. Apostrophes are a pain, and even I screw up with them sometimes. The first rule, though, is this: An apostrophe is not used to warn the reader that an "S" is coming. Honestly, you're better off underusing them than overusing them. Here is when you should use them:

a)In contractions -- You're, they're, it's. Please note that you use an apostrophe in "it's" when what you mean to write is "It Is", for example "It's a good day for someone else to die." This directly contradicts the next rule...

b)To show possession: "The orc's axe", "The elf's cleavage".  However, if you're using "it" as the thing which has possession, you do not use an apostrophe. "The orc raised its axe.", not, "The orc raised it's axe." Does this make no sense? Yes, it does. Report it to a CSR and maybe they'll fix it when they patch English.

You do not use it show plurals! No, no, no! This is wrong:
"There sure are a lot of orc's."

To make matters even more confusing, what happens when you want to show a plural possessive? You put the apostrophe after the s!
"The orcs' axes were caked with blood."

Confused yet?

There you go. I expect this list to grow as more and more annoying errors come to my attention. 

Comments
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jerome.comeau   |207.162.219.xxx |2008-12-04 15:09:05
the Cannon / Canon split is an important one. There's a pretty amusing rant
about that particular issue in a transformers wiki somewhere, but I can't seem
to find it anywhere to link to it.
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